Well, it's been three weeks since my "Moving Ahead" post...
and we've not gotten very far...
unless, of course, you count the fact that I learned the biological dad has just as much weight as the custodial mother when it comes to matters of terminating parental rights. What that means for us is that just because my sister terminated HER parental rights three weeks ago doesn't mean we can move ahead with adopting MCHN. Not yet anyway. Either dad has to consent to the adoption by terminating his parental rights, or we go to court to prove him unfit to care for MCHN. And I'd really rather not have to do that. After all, I'm not trying to force him out of her life...I'm just trying to give MCHN a permanent home with parents who love her and can provide for her needs. If "biological dad" thinks he can provide for her, then I think he should! BUT, I think he should do it....like....NOW...or three months ago, rather...instead of waiting around for God knows what. It's not fair to MCHN. It's not fair to our kids. It's not fair to our extended family. It's not fair to my husband and me!
RRROOOOAAARRR!!!
YES!
I am getting A-N-G-R-Y!!
And I really AM a nice person, so it's not easy for me to be angry!
As much as I try to tell myself that MCHN is the most important thing...that permanency will happen in God's time...that this holding pattern is happening for a reason...
I just can't sit still with this anymore!!
OK, to be honest, I might have brought on some of this frustration myself. Once my sister signed the paper terminating her parental rights, my heart took over. And I know that when I start thinking with my HEART and not my HEAD, I get myself in a bind in no time at all. So, that's when the frustration started. But, it wasn't my fault! Not really, I mean. It all happened when we went to talk to our lawyer. As he explained how the adoption process would work, how long it would take, etc., my heart got stuck on one little detail. The court hearing making MCHN our legal daughter.
First of all, I was surprised that if both biological parents consented, and willingly terminated their rights, that a court hearing was still necessary. But, it is. So, let me tell you how our attorney explained this court hearing and you'll understand why my heart got all tangled up and I got so anxious. "It's a celebration," he explained. "Bring balloons. Dress up! It's a PARTY!!"
I had never thought of the way in which MCHN found her way to us as a reason to celebrate. I mean, it was sad. It was sad to see her not being taken care of properly. It was sad to see my sister struggling. It was excruciating to talk to her father and hear his inner struggle with feeling like he needed to let her go, but not yet being able to actually do it.
A celebration? Seriously?
My husband and I had not planned on expanding our family at this time, or in this manner. But when our lawyer explained the court hearing the way he did, I realized that sure enough, it WOULD be a celebration! The thought of it brought tears to my eyes. This little girl, who we did not plan on adding to our family, has stole our hearts and we want to make her ours forever. Yes! We will celebrate!
But, not just yet...
