My job interview was fabulous on Wednesday morning. They offered me the job, and I accepted. By 10 a.m. on Wednesday I was "gainfully employed" with the job I'd always wanted, set to start this coming Monday. My heart raced while I began the phone calls to put into place the wonderful and perfect arrangements I'd made for my kiddos once I knew it was time for me to go back to working outside the home. I mean, let's face it, I'm a bit of a control freak and I wouldn't be going back to work if I didn't have the perfect arrangements for my kids. That makes me a good mom. Right? Well anyway, then the phone rang. Long story short, they informed me that they could not hire me after all, because I did not have 1 year experience in the field.
I was dumbfounded. Really. Speechless.
My jaw hung open as the silence on the other end of the phone stung my ears. How could this be happening? Was it a joke?? The recruiter had my resume for several weeks and it clearly shows my experience (or lack there-of!) in this field. They appeared OK with this idea when they called me in for the interview, then they were OK with it again at the interview when they offered me the position. I was confused. All I could utter was a meek, "okay" to the woman on the other end of the line. Her response was a quick and quiet, "goodbye".
Did that really just happen?? Seriously?? This was my dream job that FOUND ME!! I didn't pursue it, but I sure did get wrapped up in it and was set and prepared to run with it once it was handed to me! I pondered all day about what God could be trying to teach me. Was this job an "idol" as we had discussed this week my MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group?? (Since you weren't there, let me elaborate: We talked about identifying idols in our lives. That even the most honorable things, like children, spouse, JOB, etc….are born out of our desire to control. But the truth is, the HE is in control!! We just tend to forget at times...well, I do anyway.) OK, so was I making this job an "idol"?? And if so, couldn't He have taught me the lesson in a little less DREADFUL kind of way????
Or, perhaps He was trying to teach me about money. If I hadn't asked for the extra 50 cents an hour, the recruiter wouldn't have had to get the approval from the General Manager to hire me. I would have filled out the paperwork right there in the office accepting the position at the salary they offered, and it would have been a done deal. But instead, I tried to squeeze 50 cents more an hour out of them (I mean, I have daycare to pay for for two preschoolers, right??!!) so the General Manager then reviewed my file and brought up my lack of experience in the field. Damn it Jill, I told myself. I hope that 50 cents an hour was worth it. With head hung low from a very heavy heart and unsure of what the real lesson was for me here, I accepted my reality:
On one sunny Wednesday morning, I went from being a "stay-at-home-mom" (also referred to as SAHM), to "YES! I've-FINALLY-got-my-dream-job!" (which could be referred to as YIFGMDJ), to "Wow, did-I-ever-blow-that-one..." (maybe WDIEBTO?) and finally to accepting that I should probably make the most out of being "Just-Plain-Jill" (JPJ) and move on. For every one's sake...
And then it happened. Yet another teaching moment from God.
On Friday (two short days after going from SAHM to YIFGMDJ to WDIEBTO and finally to JPJ), I received a phone call from my sister, in Nebraska. To provide some background, my other sister (she's my littlest sister, also in Nebraska), has been struggling to find a suitable job, was evicted from her apartment and is finding comfort and companionship with the wrong type of people in this very difficult time. My niece, (20 months old with beautiful curly hair), is suffering because of her mother's decisions. My entire family has been watching closely and I've been praying like crazy that my sister will find courage and strength to care for her daughter.
Back up one more day. Thursday night (yep, the day after going from SAHM to YI...well, you get the idea...), my littlest sister said she had to work, and she left my curly-haired niece with my curly-haired niece's father for the night (they are not married and do not live together). She didn't return Friday morning to pick up my niece as planned. Nor did she actually have to work Thursday night, which we all learned later. This was just another in a long string of commitments she has made to her daughter and not followed through with. My extended family agreed it was time to step in to help my curly haired niece and provide her with a safe, loving environment. After a call to my husband for a serious sanity check (!) I began making plans to remove my curly-haired niece from the care of her mother. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made.
My curly-haired niece is home with us now, sleeping peacefully. What today, or tomorrow, or the next day will bring I'm not sure, but I'm trying to remind myself that He will guide me each step of the way.
No comments:
Post a Comment