Okay, so a stalker is not born overnight. Let me fill you in on what pushed me over the edge...
First of all, The Family Vacation That Wasn't (TFVTW) started today. Yep, our family is split right down the middle with several hundred miles in between us. This in itself sets a certain tone for me. You know, that sad, "what am I going to do with out you" thing mixed with the "HOORAY! They're gone!!" (Please don't them I said that!) I'm telling you, the roller coaster of emotions leading up to the good-bye this morning was enough to send me crawling back to bed! Then, to top off the roller coaster, my angel of a "almost four-year-old's" birthday falls during TFVTW (The Family Vacation That Wasn't)! Yes, that's the sad part!! My baby girl's fourth birthday and I will not be there!!! So, I asked her if she will miss me since I'm not going on vacation with her and daddy. Her words - EXACTLY - "No. But...you're going to miss my birthday. It's going to be at the beach!" I wanted to burst into tears, but her little eyes sparkled with so much excitement that I just couldn't bear to let my tears ruin the excitement she had for her birthday. So, I sniffled and walked away with a smile on my face and wiped the tears away where she couldn't see me. And off they went.
Sigh...
Now, let's go back to yesterday...
The Not So Helpful Social Worker (NSHSW) from SRS had her second visit (required, I guess) with MCHN yesterday. Not only did she answer my questions by using riddles, but she also had no words of wisdom for me about our current situation with MCHN. If any of you out there work for a state agency, I apologize if what I say in this post offends you. But...is it SRS's job to play games and give people a song and dance in order to frustrate them so that they no longer want to be engaged in the services of the SRS?? SERIOUSLY!!!
Hmm - it seems my usual sarcasm has a cynical edge today...hate to break it to you, but you'll either have to deal with it or stop reading now because I'm not sure where exactly that cynical sarcasm is going to pop up in my post today. So, read on at your own risk!
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| What?? Kangaroo Crossing?? Okay, I was trying to find an appropriate "warning sign" for sarcasm and cynicism to put here...but in the process, I ran across a kangaroo crossing sign and it made me laugh! HA!! Hope you get a chuckle too, but remember, I'm not apologizing anymore today for my attitude.. =) |
Okay, on with the rest of the story about the day the NSHSW (Not So Helpful Social Worker) pushed me to become a stalker.
It's my understanding (again, only after trying to decipher her riddles have I come to this conclusion) that according to SRS definition, MCHN is considered "abandoned" by her parents at this point. However, because my husband and I have a power of attorney and can provide her with medical insurance, SRS also considers MCHN safe and taken care of. "What?!" I ask the NSHSW. Basically SRS cannot do anything at this point because MCHN is being taken care of by an appropriate caregiver. But you can't just let the parents off the hook that easy! Who's going to step in to help her parents figure out how to care for MCHN or terminate their parental rights?? She won't talk to any of us!! Isn't it now a job for SRS??
With tensions rising between the NSHSW and me, I ask her if I need to leave MCHN sitting on the corner somewhere before SRS will get involved. The answer? Pretty much, yes.
Or, I quickly decipher another riddle from the NSHSW. If my husband and I are no longer willing/able to take care of MCHN, then, the NSHSW explains, SRS can file a "Child in Need of Care" petition for MCHN. SRS then works with the parents to try to reintegrate MCHN with them. Okay, now we're getting somewhere.
The details of this petition are about the only thing the NSHSW doesn't explain in riddles. There's a hearing. The parents (if they willingly participate) come up with a plan for reintegration. SRS monitors the parents plan. If all goes well and the agreed upon plan is accomplished, MCHN would go back home to her parents. A year of follow ups by SRS would ensure the reintegration goes as planned.
On the other hand, if her parents do not complete the plan, or do not chose to participate in a plan for reintegration, a permanent placement would be sought for MCHN. Have I lost you yet?? Hold on to your pants, my friends, here's the kicker:
Upon filing the Child in Need of Care petition, SRS may require MCHN to go to a foster home. SERIOUSLY?? Are you kidding me?? I am willing and able to provide MCHN with a safe, loving home while these court proceedings take place, but they would rather remove her from my care and place her in a foster home?? What will that accomplish??? And, who would that be good for?? Certainly NOT MCHN, who is the most important part of this whole ordeal!
Remember my post at the end of last week? It was my "p.s" post. Well, here's where this story gets complicated (I think). The NSHSW gave me a list of 3 attorneys to contact should we chose to handle this privately rather than going through SRS. I finally received a call back from the very first attorney I left a message with (at 3:30 on a Friday, no less!) He was very informative and very candid. He's been dealing with these kinds of cases for the past twenty years. Last Friday, I felt like he had literally saved me. Seriously! He said the NSHSW wasn't talking in riddles because she wanted to, but more because she had to. Being a state worker, she isn't allowed to give legal advice or make any kinds of promises about how the court system will handle MCHN's case. Okay, that makes sense. Then he said something profound.
"Now I understand why [the NSHSW] gave you my name. She knew I would tell you how this process really works."And boy did he!
He warned me that she'll make the SRS process sound awful and that I'll probably get frustrated at her because she won't answer my questions. Yep.
He said that she'll say MCHN will have to go to foster care which, he explained, is completely accurate. The judge CAN decide to send MCHN to foster care and the state of KS will cut a check to the private company who now runs the foster system for the state. OR the judge can decide to leave MCHN right where she is, where she is comfortable and safe, and not have to pay a penny. Which do you think the judge will decide to do??
Well, my friends, that is the question that turned me into a stalker.
The attorney assured me that in twenty years of handling these cases, he's never had a client have a child go to foster care instead of staying with the family caregiver. Ever. In twenty years. But, listening to the NSHSW was so unsettling!! I just couldn't live with myself if MCHN went to a foster home!!
So, I called my sister, MCHN's mother, the second the NSHSW left my house yesterday. MCHN will go to foster care on Tuesday when the Child in Need of Care petition is filed I tell her. I wait for her response, certain that even though it's been 4 weeks since she's answered one of my calls, I will get a call back this time, and finally be able to stop this craziness.
So I wait.
And I wait.
No response.
I toss and turn last night. I pray like a madwoman, wanting to hear His voice answer my plea. Am I doing the right thing? Is there another option that would be better for MCHN?? Are you really going to make her go to foster care??
No response from Him either.
I call MCHN's mom again today. Please, I plead, please. Call me so we can talk. Please participate in MCHN's future in one way or another. If you cannot be a mother to her, it's okay. Please, please, just take care of her now and chose a mother for her.
No response.
No one can tell me whether MCHN will have to go to foster care. I will not know until Tuesday gets here. That's really hard for me to accept. I'm trying to put my trust in God, that He wouldn't let her go to foster care. But, the truth is, He already has a plan for MCHN and it's in progress. All I can do is trust in Him that everything will work out just how it's meant to be.
I just wish trusting and waiting wasn't such a struggle for me right now...
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