The Gift of Week Five

I was excited to live the Gift of Week Five (see my previous post).  I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed, eager to get out there and see what was in store for us.  Because, I DO love gifts!  Small gifts with tiny bows, huge gifts with no bow...it doesn't matter.  A gift is a gift!  I love the excitement of the unknown, and I love knowing that the giver of the gift took the time to let me know that I am special to them.  So, off to Week Five I went!

Instead of excitement, as the week went on, I had been feeling "heavy."  Not an anxious or stressed out feeling, but just "heavy."  Like something was weighing me down from the inside. Could my organs literally have gained weight?  Or maybe the heaviness was in my heart.  I mean, seriously, not only had it pulled a Grinch on me by growing three sizes bigger with the love that is growing for MCHN, but inside it was also bigger now with the weight of making the right legal decisions for my family and for my MCHN's future. 

Heavy.  Rock - no boulder - in my chest, heavy.  Seriously.

After a disappointing visit from the social worker from Child Protective Services (she just wasn't a wealth of knowledge like I had hoped...) to leaving messages for Family Law Attorney's and not receiving any call backs (can someone please just answer my questions???)...to deciding to stay back from our family vacation this month to help MCHN's life remain stable and consistant...the heavy feeling grew.

Then I was reminded of something this week that made such a difference in my perspective.  Herein lies the GIFT of Week Five!  Feel the excitement?!  See the pretty, sparkly bow??!! 

HOORAY!!

There are a lot of people who love MCHN.  In fact, my love for her sometimes makes it harder to make the right decisions for her future.  But, here's the gift:

         GOD LOVES HER!          

Duh!  It's not that I didn't know this already (I mean seriously, how elementary is that, right?!) but how easily I forget under the weight of so much responsibility.  So, God has a plan for MCHN, and He loves her in ways I can't even imagine.  I'm here to help Him put that plan in place, which takes the weight off of me.  Whew!!  What a relief!!  Not only does He have a plan for me, but - OF COURSE - he has a plan for MCHN, too. 

Dear God,
I'm so relieved to be reminded that I am part of your plan for MCHN, but I am not calling the shots.  However our journey ends up, I know that You are in the driver seat and  I will not I will try not to (because I AM Just Plain Jill, after all...) look so far down the road that I lose track of where You are.  Thank You for this Week Five Gift. Thank You for reminding me that I am not alone.  I needed it!

Love,
JPJ (Just Plain Jill)