I Asked For It...

We've got a lot of whining going on in our house these days.  It comes and goes, but mostly, it comes, and comes and some days it comes in DOWNPOURS!

So, I'm focused on teaching the kids to use their words.  To listen to each other.  To be good communicators and even better listeners.

When I hear an argument start to happen, recognize that raised little tone of voice that will very shortly turn into a whine, and then a cry, and then an all out fit, I softly remind the accuser, "Please...no crying...use your words."  

When I'm lucky, I might hear one of them say what's been done that they don't like.  Sometimes I even hear one of them ask for a turn with a toy the other has - this makes me really excited!!  It doesn't happen that often, but enough to keep my spirits up anyway.

Then I got this:

During our weekly visit to Wal-Mart (why does it seem like so many milestones happen at that store?!?!  I need to get out more!!), Willow was playing the drop-the-snack-cup, watch-mom-have-to-stop-and-pick-it-up game.  The first time I picked it up, I didn't think much about it.  The second time I let out a big sigh before stopping the two carts, backing back up, and leaning over to pick up said snack cup.  I handed it back to her, my body language letting her know that this would be the last time I'd be picking it up.  Off we all went again.

I assumed I'd soon hear some sniffling...followed by whining...leading up to crying...all to let me know that she wasn't happy with me not taking part in her drop-the-snack-cup, watch-mom-have-to-stop-and-pick-it-up game.  I was braced and ready.  As suspected, the sniffles started.  I quickly checked my list to see if I could pick up the few last things I needed quick enough to get to the checkout before the whining and subsequent crying tantrum came.

Sniffle..............sniffle......SNIFFLE!!

Oh geeze...here comes the tantrum, I thought (wouldn't be the first of our tantrums in Wal-Mart, by the way...)

I stopped the carts (I've explained before that I push one and pull one, right?), and walked around the cart so that Willow and I could talk.  She had the saddest little face to go with those sniffles!  I wrapped my hands around her shoulders and asked, "ooooohhh Willow, what's wrong??"   She sweetly and softly said,  "Mommy, you made me so saaa-aaa-aad."

My heart was warmed.  =)

"But, why?"  I asked her.  "What did mommy do that made you sad?"

She just looked at the snack cup she help between her two hands and sniffled.  "Cuuuuuuuz...." was all she could manage to get out.  But it was enough to make me stop and think.

I realized that they don't just need to be reminded to use their words, sometimes they just don't have the words they need to let us know how they feel.  I hugged her and asked her if she felt better.  She smiled sweetly and said yes.  Sniffles disappeared.  We wiped tears away.  It was that easy.

I had gotten frustrated and she sensed it.  Instead of throwing a fit, she let me know that I made her sad.  (YAY!!  Is my focused teaching working?!)  I listened and hugged her, letting her know that it's okay to not have all the words....

         ...sometimes just knowing there's lots of love
                is all we need to make everything better.