The Rules - Week One

Dear God,
I'm catching on to Your Big Game.  One good day is followed by the day from Hell.  Is it okay to say that word do You?  I mean no disrespect, You know I love you, but I'm learning more quickly now (look dad, I didn't learn the hard way this time!  YAY me! (Seriously, sarcasm...are you catching it yet?)  Thank you for reminding me that You will not give me more than I can handle.  This was important for me to know to survive Day Six (the good day) and Day Seven (the Day from Hell, or simply DFH).

Here are the rules to YBG (Your Big Game) that I've learned this week.  By the way, maybe it would be easier if you left a printed copy of these rules out for me, like the maker of my cribbage game did?  Just a thought...

15 Rules to playing YBG (Your Big Game) - Week One:

1. Never let them see you sweat. 
2. If you turn your back on one, he or she will ALWAYS surprise you.
3. If you do not close the dishwasher door all the way, he or she will open it, pull out a dirty steak knife, and gently tap you on the back with it. (Yes, seriously!!) 
4. Even if you put buckles on the new time-out chair (because who has time to stand next to the one in trouble while the other one is "free"?!?!), he or she WILL find a way to arch their back to loosen the buckle enough and wiggle loose (see figure 1.)



Figure 1

5. Never let them see you sweat.
6. Pooping comes in pairs - who knew???!!!




Figure 2a


7. There IS a way to brush their teeth besides holding one while the other one whines at your leg until it's their turn (see figures 2a, 2b).
  



Figure 2b


8. If there is an illness going through the children in your house, the momma will surely get a turn on a weekday while still having to care for the three kids.  The daddy's turn will come on the weekend so momma will STILL have to care for the three kids while he's laying in bed thinking he's dying (seriously, it's just the flu!).

9. Bath time should be a spectator sport.  Two naked almost two-year olds running around like banshees while the almost four year old throws a two-year-old-like-tantrum (TYOLT) because she wants to get in too MUST be funny if you're watching from afar.   
10. Never let them see you sweat (NLTSYS).
11. If you leave the dining room after dinner to start the never ending clean up process, the kids WILL kick back and relax (see figure three).  ENJOY THIS TIME!!!




Figure 3


12. If you start a blog to save your sanity, it's probably better to get up at three or four in the morning to put your thoughts down on paper than to let them wreak havoc in your head and not get back to sleep.
13. The blue-eyed boy is NOT as innocent as he appears and yes, he CAN do wrong!
14. NLTSYS (never let them see you sweat).
15. At the end of each day, when you have quiet time with each child before tucking them into bed, they WILL want to snuggle with you like the little angels they are, their arms wrapped around your shoulders, for as long as you let them.  SOAK THIS IN LIKE A MOMMA SOLAR PANEL!!  You will need it to get through the next day, especially if you're scheduled for a DFH (Day from Hell)!!

I'm listing these rules for you, God, so that you may consider printing them for the next crazy momma who is living with two almost two year olds.  She will need them!

You loving servant,
JPJ (Just Plain Jill)