Ni-Night Time

My little guy gets EXTREMELY anxious when the day boils down to ni-night time (be it afternoon nap or bed time) and his mommy does ANYTHING but give him all her attention.  Mind you, I eat this up.  Seriously.  I love that he wants nothing else in the world than to spend his last few minutes with me before closing his eyes and resting his pint-size little body.  However, this anxiety of his at ni-night time has become a real issue now that MCHN is with us.  You see, MCHN also wants my undivided attention before ni-night time.  In fact, maybe all babies want their mommies at ni-night time, and not just my sweet little blue eyed baby boy.  No, I take that back.  I'm not ready to believe that yet...

So, I know it does not surprise you to know that ni-night times around our house have become my new challenge.  I mean, I've already explained how I cannot stop the organized, prepared part of me that tries (as hard as she can!) to make full time days here with three children under the age of four run smoothly.  Yes, I am bound and determined to make the transition from our daily grind to sleepy-time peaceful and pleasant for all.  As you can imagine...it's a work in progress.

In the whole "who do I lay down first" scheme of things, I've tried it all.  If MCHN goes ni-night first, I can hardly get to the top of the stairs before my darling little baby boy (and yes, that IS sarcasm...) pops the baby gate open (who makes those things anyway, and why don't they work for baby boys?!?!) and meets us at MCHN's doorway, barely able to catch his breath from the agonizing screaming he's been doing since he realized his mommy is not giving him her undivided attention at ni-night time.  If that same darling little boy goes ni-night first, he's content and more than happy to watch as MCHN slowly melts down, realizing she's going to be left behind.  Today however, things went a little differently.

We all went upstairs together, milk cups and woobies/blankies in hand.  Mind you, I have to carry them both because of course no one can walk on their own at ni-night time.  Are you kidding me?!  That would trigger the panic attack of thinking you might get left behind, which means you once again are not getting 100% of mommy's attention at ni-night time!!  And, yes, if you are wondering, it does bother me at times that I'm pretty sure I really do know what they are thinking....

So, I'm a bit off balance.  MCHN (bless her chubby little thighs), is maybe 5-8 pounds heavier than that blue eyed little boy that has me wrapped around his little finger.  This makes maneuvering through the tiny walkway created by the baby gate and up the stairs physically daunting and I'm not proud to admit that I'm a little winded when I reach the top of the stairs.  But, I'm okay with this physical challenge because NO ONE IS CRYING!!  No anxiety, no panic attacks, and, believe it or not, nobody has gotten a milk cup swung at their head!

I sit in the rocker in MCHN's bedroom and situate MCHN on one leg and that blue eyed boy on the other.  I'm afraid this may be physically too close when the kids are tired and short-tempered, but surprisingly they look at each other and giggle.  A conversation ensues about whose milk cup is whose, where every one's noses and eyes are, etc. (I say et cetera like everyone knows what kind of conversations you have with 21 month old children...).  Anyway, this goes on for several minutes as MCHN's eyes begin getting very heavy.  I get up with MCHN to snuggle and lay her down in bed, afraid leaving the blue eyed boy will set off the dreaded anxiety I've tried so hard to keep at bay.  Much to my surprise, he sits quietly in the rocker, woobie and milk cup in hand, and watches closely as MCHN gets my undivided attention for those last few moments before she nods off to sleep.  I hear him whisper "ni-night" which almost brings tears to my eyes.  I cover MCHN up, scoop up that blue eyed boy and quietly close MCHN's door behind us.

Perhaps he understands that MCHN could really use a mommy's undivided attention right now and so he's a little more willing to share his mommy with her before she goes to sleep.  I'd like to think it's the gentleman in him coming out.  Or, maybe he knows that the undivided attention he longs for so much is just around the corner.  Either way, I was proud of us all this ni-night time, however I'm also smart...

I do know better than to count on it working out this same way twice in a row.