Bridges

I've said all along that I wasn't going to force anything with the legalities of having MCHN (my curly haired niece) staying with us.  The legalities were complicated and messy and didn't seem appropriate at the time.  I believed our job was to love MCHN (and what an easy job it is!!) and He would figure out the rest without me forcing anything to happen.  He has a plan, right?  Knowing this comforted me and gave me confidence to begin this journey with MCHN.  So, I decided to focus my attention on the immediate needs of MCHN and cross the other bridges when they presented themselves. 

Sidenote:  In case I have not revealed enough about myself yet, you have to know a couple things about me to really appreciate the rest of this post.  I'm a planner.  I analyze...well, to a fault, really.  I guess I usually overanalyze.  I like to be organized.  (One of my biggest pet peeves is to have to waste time looking for something that's not where it's supposed to be!!)  I like to know what comes next and be prepared for it.  I haven't always been like this...in my twenties I'd decide to do something and I'd do it!  Hang on to your hats, I'll figure out the details later! But I've moved into a slower, more methodical way of thinking now.   

Okay, on with the post...

Knowing I'm a planner who is organized and prepared, you understand that scooping up MCHN and NOT having everything organized, every question answered and having no idea what would come next (but knowing darn well that SOMETHING was going to have to come next!) should have been more than a little daunting to a personality like mine.  Surprisingly, I was calm and confident.  I knew I was doing what needed to be done for MCHN.  I was comfortable crossing the other bridges as they arose. 

And let me tell you, they took no time at all to show up!!

The First Bridge

My only plan for Week One was to keep everyone alive and safe and to not lose my sanity in the process, however, The First Bridge - Temporary Guardianship - quickly presented itself.  I mean seriously, just trying to keep everyone alive and keep me sane wasn't work enough for me...there HAD to be something else for me to do, right?!  So, at my request, MCHN's parents finally signed a Temporary Guardianship form giving my husband and I their permission to provide MCHN with a home and seek medical treatment (among other things).  This would ensure my husband and I could do whatever needed to be done to keep her safe and healthy.  I analyzed:  Are we still alive and sane?  Yes.  Did we cross The First Bridge?  Yes.  As MCHN would say, HOORAY!!

The Second Bridge   

The beginning of Week Two brought another bridge - Engaging Extended Family.  The support of my extended family was an important boost to my confidence in caring for MCHN.  We worked out a schedule to help my husband and I ease our kids and ourselves into taking care of another child full-time.  With a schedule in tact, I was beginning to know what to expect on a daily basis and feeling more balanced about holding my own family together while trying to incorporate MCHN into our home and our lives.

Engaging Extended Family's support brought with it some complications.  Questions were being fired at me like a machine gun during Week Three.  But why would they assume I had all the answers?  I pushed back a little...after all, these were not my questions to answer!  My job was to love MCHN - and I was doing a great job of it!  Like the Scrooge, my heart had grown three sizes by the end of Week Three!

Dear Extended Family,

We are very busy over here hugging and kissing and caring for MCHN.  Please don't pressure us for answers that are not ours to give.  Feel free to direct your questions to the person who might be able to answer them! 

Sincerely,

Just Plain Jill and Company

That person, of course...you know, the only one who could answer all the questions being fired at us...would be MCHN's mother, (my sister), who by Week Three had stopped answering our calls. 

The Third Bridge

This, my friends, was one scary looking bridge! 

My extended family, upon whom I was resting my emotional well-being for the past three weeks, put conditions on their support.  What?!  Yes, since such and such hasn't happened (their plan), we can't help any more.  Again, what?!  Seriously?!  But we are doing this for MCHN - a sweet, innocent child caught in the middle of a situation that is out of her control!  How can you turn your backs?? 

 

Dear God,

I love You, but...are You kidding me?!  Seriously?!  How in the world am I suppose to take care of MCHN full-time, without the support of my extended family??  We were comfortable and enjoying ourselves with the help of our Extended Family.  Do You really think my husband and I can do this alone??  And how can You let this come between me and my extended family?  Seriously!!  Please help me understand...

Angry and Confused,
Just Plain Jill

I hunkered down for the remainder of Week Four and did what I do best:  cared for everyone with a vengeance.  Then, I read something that made me stop.  And think.  And analyze (it's what I do, you know...). 

Thank God I stopped, and analyzed, and listened.  And I mean, I really listened.

“When God moves us out of our comfort zone —- into places that are way bigger than us, places that are difficult, hard, painful —- that even hurt — this is a gift.

WE ARE BEING GIVEN A GIFT!

     These hard places give us the gift of intimately    knowing God — in ways that would never be possible in our comfort zones.” 

from A Holy Experience by A. Voskamp

So, now I'm out of my comfort zone and in a place way bigger than I am.  I was scared, but now I understand it's a gift.  Week Five is a gift from God and I'm excited to live it.  I'm going to rip the beautiful bow off of this gift and dive right in!!